Rediscovering my superpower in the middle of transition
I used to stand out. But now I feel like I’m blending in, and it’s making me feel uncomfortable.
For my whole life, I felt like I worked a bit differently. It was hard at times but overall I benefited. Whether it be with teachers or bosses, I received a lot of validation and recognition for the things I did. When I had the space to show up authentically, I would shine. And I got used to that being the norm.
I knew I was different; I felt different. Not better, or special, just different.
And deep down, I felt that whatever this “differentness” was, it was my superpower. It was the key to success one day. It was the thing that carried me towards my biggest desires. Because I’ve also always been a dreamer. Fantasizing about what my life was going to be “one day”. Dreaming about the possibilities and trusting so deeply that they were going to become my reality.
I found comfort in the idea that one day, when I found my passion, I would really flourish.
And then I found my passion, took the big leap, left my corporate job, and put myself on a new path. The path I believed was leading me toward the life I’ve dreamed of living for a long time. I thought, “This is where I’m meant to be; this is where I’m going to thrive”. This is where I can finally use my “superpower” — the thing that has got me this far, the thing that has made me stand out, the thing that has made me feel different. I can finally use it to build something of my own.
And now that I’m here, doing the thing that I love the most, the thing I truly believe is my purpose… I feel like my superpower is blocked. It’s almost like I have lost the key that I believed for so long was going to open up all the doors.
Almost like I believed that my transition from corporate life to entrepreneurship was going to be easier. That the challenges I thought would be the hardest would be the tactical stuff. But here I am getting to know a whole new part of me. I once felt like I was gliding through life and now I’m feeling resistance more than ever. Have I put myself in a “bigger pond” and I’m feeling the effect? Maybe.
Today I was inspired by a live interview I was watching with Simon Sinek and Steven Bartlett. I felt like I had temporarily gained access to my superpower again. It provided me with a glimmer of hope. A necessary reminder that it’s not gone forever, just clouded over by some of the noise that has come to the surface since making the big transition.
If you see yourself in my story, know you are not alone! I see you. Keep going. You have not lost a part of yourself; you are just in the process of evolving. You will come out the other side.
Sylvana
